A Present from Uncle Eli

The house had gone crazy,

all turned upside-down,

with everyone busily

running around.

Mommy was screaming

"Get out of the way!

You can't keep on

lying around here all day!

Tomorrow is Passover.

You don't look ready.

We have to remove

everything that is bready.

Pack up the old dishes

and pull out the new.

Prepare for the seder!

There's too much to do!"

I just stuffed up my ears,

`cause I'm that kind of kid.

I didn't much care

what the rest of them did.

I thought it was stupid;

I felt it was dumb

to get so excited

about one or two crumbs

when under my bed,

under careful protection,

I keep the world's largest

stale bread-crumb collection!

I hate cleaning up.

I prefer a good mess.

I'm lazy and mean --

kind of nasty, I guess.

I don't like the seder.

It bores me to tears.

I sit making faces

and noises and sneers.

I'd rather be out

"Out Breaking Windows" by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
         breaking windows with balls,

or digging up flower-beds,

or drawing on walls.

Anything! Anywhere!

Rather than be

at the Passover seder

with my family.

We mean little kids

"All Sent Away" (c) by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
 (c) by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
         should be all sent away.

We don't want to celebrate

dumb holidays.

Well, those were the thoughts

spinning inside my head.

My ears were exploding,

my nose had turned red.

I was very upset

at my Mom and my Dad--

disgusted, disgruntled

-- in short, I was mad!

When...

right there behind me

I heard a soft sound.

I perked up my ears

and I turned my head `round.

And right there before me,

as plain as could be

was the weirdest old man

that you ever will see.

"Weird" did I say?

He was weirder than weird!

You hardly could see him

because of his beard.

It flowed down his body

and covered his feet,

all curly and snaggly,

distinctly un-neat.

Aside from that beard-

well, you couldn't see lots,

just two twinkly eyes

that peeked out `tween the knots,

and the hint of a grin

that made everything bright

and sometimes turned into

a laughing white light.

I stared at this strange little man

for a while

as he kept standing there

full of laughter and smiles.

The door to the room

was still shut up quite tight,

and I didn't know

how he had gotten inside.

I finally got up the nerve

to speak out:

"You are a strange fellow,

without any doubt.

Please tell me who are you?

And why are you here?

And why do you look

so fantastically queer?"

He lit up his smile

and began to reply:

"I'm your old friend,

Uncle Eli am I!

And I, Uncle Eli,

am just the right one

to make sure that this year

you will have lots of fun.

Instead of just sitting there

twiddling your hands

while the grown-ups read words

that you don't understand,

I've brought you

a special Haggadah to read.

It'll keep you in stitches!

It's just what you need!

I wrote it for children

like you and your friends,

who hardly can wait

for the seder to end.

It's just the right thing

for a silly young boy--

a Haggadah you'll learn

to adore and enjoy."

Then, waving his finger

and wiggling his ears,

he stuck his right hand

in his tangled white beard

and from somewhere down deep

in that jungle of hair

"He Pulled Out a Book"(c) by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
(c) by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
he pulled out a book,

which he held in the air.

It's the same fun Haggadah

you're reading today.

Don't let your folks see it!

They'll take it away.

You might want to hide it

where no one can see,

under the table,

on top of your knee.

It'll be our own secret.

They won't understand

why you cover your mouth

with the back of your hand

to stifle the laughs

that burst out all the time.

--It's your own special secret,

         and Eli's

                  ...and mine!

"Magic Matzah Ride (c) by Bonnie Gordon Lucas
PDB

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