The house had gone crazy,
all turned upside-down,
with everyone busily
running around.
Mommy was screaming
"Get out of the way!
You can't keep on
lying around here all day!
Tomorrow is Passover.
You don't look ready.
We have to remove
Pack up the old dishes
and pull out the new.
Prepare for the seder!
There's too much to do!"
I just stuffed up my ears,
`cause I'm that kind of kid.
I didn't much care
what the rest of them did.
I thought it was stupid;
I felt it was dumb
to get so excited
about one or two crumbs
when under my bed,
under careful protection,
I keep the world's largest
stale bread-crumb collection!
I hate cleaning up.
I prefer a good mess.
I'm lazy and mean --
kind of nasty, I guess.
I don't like the seder.
It bores me to tears.
I sit making faces
and noises and sneers.
I'd rather be out
|
breaking windows with balls,
or digging up flower-beds,
or drawing on walls.
Anything! Anywhere!
Rather than be
with my family.
We mean little kids
|
should be all sent away.
We don't want to celebrate
dumb holidays.
Well, those were the thoughts
spinning inside my head.
My ears were exploding,
my nose had turned red.
I was very upset
at my Mom and my Dad--
disgusted, disgruntled
-- in short, I was mad!
When...
right there behind me
I heard a soft sound.
I perked up my ears
and I turned my head `round.
And right there before me,
as plain as could be
was the weirdest old man
that you ever will see.
"Weird" did I say?
He was weirder than weird!
You hardly could see him
because of his beard.
It flowed down his body
and covered his feet,
all curly and snaggly,
distinctly un-neat.
Aside from that beard-
well, you couldn't see lots,
just two twinkly eyes
that peeked out `tween the knots,
and the hint of a grin
that made everything bright
and sometimes turned into
a laughing white light.
I stared at this strange little man
for a while
as he kept standing there
full of laughter and smiles.
The door to the room
was still shut up quite tight,
and I didn't know
how he had gotten inside.
I finally got up the nerve
to speak out:
"You are a strange fellow,
without any doubt.
Please tell me who are you?
And why are you here?
And why do you look
so fantastically queer?"
He lit up his smile
and began to reply:
"I'm your old friend,
Uncle Eli am I!
And I, Uncle Eli,
am just the right one
to make sure that this year
you will have lots of fun.
Instead of just sitting there
twiddling your hands
while the grown-ups read words
that you don't understand,
I've brought you
a special Haggadah to read.
It'll keep you in stitches!
It's just what you need!
I wrote it for children
like you and your friends,
who hardly can wait
for the seder to end.
It's just the right thing
for a silly young boy--
a Haggadah you'll learn
to adore and enjoy."
Then, waving his finger
and wiggling his ears,
he stuck his right hand
in his tangled white beard
and from somewhere down deep
in that jungle of hair
 |
which he held in the air.
It's the same fun Haggadah
you're reading today.
Don't let your folks see it!
They'll take it away.
You might want to hide it
where no one can see,
under the table,
on top of your knee.
It'll be our own secret.
They won't understand
why you cover your mouth
with the back of your hand
to stifle the laughs
that burst out all the time.
--It's your own special secret,
and Eli's
...and mine!
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